Category Archives: sleep

I used to really look forward to writing a new mum blog post, those days something funny happened or life taught me a valuable lesson. It would be a treat to open the laptop, upload the photos and indulge my creative writing hobby while the wee man slept.

Maybe that’s been the problem – the lack of sleep.

The naps – those wonderful oases in our crazy days – are long gone, and this summer the 12-hour-straight slumbers from 7.30pm have also disappeared. Some nights it’s been 9pm before he’s finally conked out, only to be up again three hours later. Those nights there’s just time to eat something before passing out ourselves.

But something else pretty big and important has taken over my life recently, and it’s no exaggeration to say it has totally floored me. Pregnancy.

It’s been a totally different experience from first time round. I haven’t enjoyed it at all. I’ve felt generally under the weather the whole time – bone tired, over-emotional, nauseous, achey and completely lacking in energy. I’ve fought it, of course. I’ve taken the supplements, eaten healthily, drunk lots of water, tried to stay active (even though my pelvis has had to be realigned and I’m doing physio every day) and clung to my perspectacles. I’ve made huge efforts to stay rational, to count my blessings that the baby’s been growing healthily, to control the tears and rages, and to continue to be a good mum to the wee man. It’s been a huge effort, especially for a woman with no energy.

Filming for the local business news broadcast – and hiding the bump!

My business, meanwhile, has taken off. It’s been the best trading year yet. It’s been my escape, living three days a week in a world where success can be measured and to do lists can be achieved. I’ve formulated and delivered effective strategies, returned to some proper journalism, met interesting new contacts and received praise for jobs well done. I’ve felt in control and successful, a nice contrast to toddler battles and a body that challenges me in some new way every day.

Now though, I am four weeks away from my due date. I have finally, and reluctantly, gone on mat leave. The wee man has moved up a class at nursery and now goes three and a half days, which are more evenly spread out during the week. We have found a second babysitter – a trainee paediatric nurse who lives locally – and who the wee man loves. The sleeping has improved – though he is still up once or twice through the night – and even I have to admit that the headspace freed up by not working has allowed me to relax a bit.

Four weeks to go…

I’ve bought myself a new notebook, glued the scan pictures into the first pages and started writing lists. Baby names, suggestions from other mums, things to organise before the wee one arrives… and I’m excited! I’m looking forward to having time alone at home to nest. I can’t wait to go through all the wee man’s old baby clothes and wash anything white, yellow or green. I’m delighted the joiner is coming to build a fitted wardrobe in the baby’s room and paint the whole place white. I’m even up for the challenge of scrubbing the pram and car seat.

I feel a sense of achievement already. And maybe the muse is returning…

Sleepless in Aberdeen

It shouldn’t be actresses, models or TV ‘stars’ on the cover of magazines – it should be mums. We are so freaking fabulous we deserve people to gasp when they see us. We should be sent free handbags, be placed at the best tables in restaurants and have treats showered upon us.

This morning I woke up thanks to a headbutt from the three year old I’ve been trying unsuccessfully to get back into the habit of sleeping in his own bed. My eyes were puffy from crying at 4am when his endless screaming, kicking tantrum broke me. My curly hair was a fuzzy mess from tossing and turning my six-months-pregnant bulk. I spent the morning in a daze and was so pathetically grateful when my husband handed me a lovely salad for lunch that I burst into tears. Again.

This cannot continue. I am not this woman.

I have been Googling. I cannot understand why my son has turned into a screaming banshee just because we took him on holiday and he had to sleep in a few different places.

So far the reasons I’ve come up with are:

1 he’s acting up because I’m pregnant

2 he’s having tantrums because he can’t express himself verbally and he wants to be in our bed

3 he’s having night terrors

4 he’s asserting his independence

5 he’s overtired

6 he’s going through a growth spurt

Well, I can’t do anything about number 1 or 6.

Number 2: yes, but too bad, he’s not getting his way.

3: OK, apparently the way to deal with this is to note when these happen, wake him ten mins before with a drink and reset the sleep pattern. [sigh].

Number 4, yes I understand that, and it’s probably linked to number 5, so I will redesign the bedtime routine slightly.

I’m also aware that letting him come into bed with us at 6.15am, after resolutely returning him to his bed twice or three times during the night, is probably confusing matters. My reasoning is, at 6.15, I only have two options: Get up for the day or Bring him in where he’ll fall asleep immediately, sleep for two or three more hours and be much more manageable for the rest of the day.

I mean, what would you do?

I am already dreading tonight. My patience is shot to hell. I’m tired. I’m pregnant and therefore overly emotional. I’m also back at work tomorrow. But I will dredge up some strength from the depths of my bruised soul and just have faith that this too shall pass.

If anyone wants to send me a handbag as an incentive, I’d be most grateful.

How to extricate yourself from a sleeping child in 7 steps

1 Fit your own oxygen mask first

Before attempting the bedtime routine, or attending to the child who’s woken in the wee small hours, make sure you’re prepped. Go for a pee, take a drink, put on your dressing gown, balm those dry lips – you’re going into battle.

2 Check emergency exits are clear

Creaking doors should be open, toys that squeak or sing should be removed and anything that sticks out should be stuck back in. A kerfuffle in the final stages will scupper the whole kit and caboodle.

3 Don’t give in to the temptation to get comfortable

Yes it would be easier to have a light to see by, a blanket to keep you warm and some soft soothing music – but these things need to be switched off and removed before attempting your escape. They’ll only hamper it.

4 Click your Patience Power Up icon

When you’ve finished the feed/changed the nappy/persuaded him to lie back down under the covers, mentally inject yourself with superhero patience. You’re going to need it. You only want to settle them once, any early exits will inevitably result in repeating the whole process. Probably twice.

5 Be zen

Whether you are sitting, lying, leaning, standing or crouching like a hopeful cat at the fishpond, make sure your body is balanced. Don’t allow any one body part to get trapped under a child, tangled in a blanket or wedged in some furniture. Movements post-sleep must be fluid. Stumbling, wrenching or falling on your face will send you straight back to square one.

6 Phase yourself out

As with all aspects of childcare – you can’t just stop. If you’re rocking, patting or stroking, slow it by a beat each time. If you’re singing, fade yourself like a DJ. If you have an arm or hand resting on them, peel yourself away one finger at a time. Lowering a baby into a cot is a particular skill – point 5 should help, then slowly and smoothly slip your arms away.

7 Wait for the breathing cue

This is the secret – do not begin your exit until their breathing is deep and even. Any sooner and your jacket’s on a shoogly nail. Seems a shame to risk your investment when you’re so close to payday. Use the waiting time to get yourself into position – stand from your crouch, gather your goonie round you and then, when you’re sure, take superslow careful steps to the door and pull it closed behind you. Continue the creeping until you’re safe in your bed/on your couch/with your face in your wineglass. Success!

Category Archives: sleep

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