Tag Archives: instagram

Find your diamonds and hold them tight

I’ve just finished reading “Cows” by Dawn O’Porter.

While very well-written and thought-provoking, I struggled with it. I just couldn’t buy into the main premise. Women aren’t that down on each other in my experience. Granted I don’t live in London and I don’t work in an office environment, but I am pretty media-savvy. The kind of ruthless judgement described in the novel just rang a bit hollow with me.

Two things happened this weekend to prove me right.

The first was Slice in the City.

Now, I love Instagram. I appreciate many of you prefer Twitter or Facebook or, you know, phone calls – but I get SO MUCH out of my insta community. It’s as close as this 11 years-married chick gets to speed dating. Thanks in large part to the advice of Danni @chachipowerproject, I have deliberately designed myself an inspiring and healthy feed. I follow dancers and artists, mums and independents, businesswomen and inventors and experts in all sorts of niche areas.

Slice in the City was where we all met in real life.

Csn you imagine a more interesting crowd to spend your Saturday afternoon with?

When Nic stood up to do her welcome speech (she goes by the name of @weeslice and is the powerhouse who brought us all to the Apex that sunny day) she pointed out about 70% of the 80 or so people there had come alone. And yet, no one was standing by themselves.

i know I approached a woman looking a bit lonely to say hi – and loads of others must have done the same.

I was invited to join a book club (“Oh we don’t actually read books, you ok with that?”) and a brunch club (“I need to escape my kids at least once a month”). I finally found an eyebrow expert who kindly agreed to make my brow sisters into twins and got massive hugs from people I’d never met but felt I knew.

In short, I spent three hours with 80 women and felt nothing but positivity.

The next thing that happened was utterly terrifying.

My 7 yo went missing.

I’ll tell you the short version, in that he was found within the hour and he was fine.

I had to phone the police and I put a message on our local Facebook group. I don’t want to go into it, except to say I was overwhelmed by the reaction of my community.

Everyone was out looking and the support was really quite humbling. When he was found I got so many messages full of love. “You must have been beside yourself” – “We’re so relieved” – “Go and pour yourself a large drink”. I was mortified to have caused such a kerfuffle – but all I was getting was compassion. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.

So while I accept that “Cows” is just a novel, and Instagram is often toxic and neighbours can be problematic – I want to stand up for the good guys.

There are fabulous, genuine diamonds all around us if we just open our hearts to them.

They could make your afternoon – or save your child’s life.

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Filed under charity, Edinburgh

Should you put your kids on social media?

My sister had a gorgeous baby boy in February. He’s the cutest wee thing and his laugh makes my heart burst.

You’ll just have to take my word for it though. She’s decided his face will not be on social media.

“I feel it’s his choice and I shouldn’t make that decision for him,” she told me. “Also, there are some weird and awful people on the internet and it freaks me out. I want to protect him. And anyway, people’s baby spam gets so boring…”

It’s a tricky one – particularly for parent bloggers like me.

I take reasonable precautions – I give my children code names, I password-protect the most personal posts and I try to only publish pictures that are appropriate.

I’ve cut back hugely on the instagram pics of my boys. My profile there is open – and I’ve decided to make it less personal and more general. I’ve ‘rebranded’ to EdinburghKim and the focus is now on Edinburgh life. It’s still my Edinburgh life – but I’m thinking more about my audience and what they might be interested in – like recommendations of cafes and days out. Any family pics or videos I put on my insta stories – gone in 24hrs.

Could I take my kids off social media altogether?

I don’t think I could.

I bumped into my friend Sarah in the gym this morning. We hadn’t seen each other for months so the kettlebells were ignored for a good 15 minutes while we caught up.

“I love seeing your pics of the boys,” she said. “You can tell how close they are!”

We met at a baby music class, so I feel like our kids are a big part of our relationship. I love watching her girls grow up, and all the funny things they get up to. I think removing our little ones from social media would really affect the bonds I have with a lot of my friends.

I pushed the boundaries a little bit recently though.

On holiday in Spain, we made a video.

The point of it is to sell our property in Aberdeen – but it’s a bit daft, and both my youngest and my husband feature in it. They both absolutely loved the process and the finished product. KD in particular was a natural on camera and has watched it over and over and over.

One friend who saw it said we should start a channel and my immediate reaction was NO WAY!

That’s a step too far.

If, when they’re old enough, they want to start vlogging then I’ll advise and supervise, but for now I’m going to give them that privacy at least.

Where do your boundaries lie?

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Filed under Edinburgh, hello World

#screwyouGisele

I have never trolled in my life, but if ever a picture has inspired my ire, this is it:

Screen Shot 2013-12-12 at 20.48.56

 

She made some comment about multitasking when supermodel Gisele Bundchen posted this picture on Instagram.

She is not multitasking.

She is doing one, admittedly admirable, thing, while being spoiled from all angles.

This picture does not represent breast-feeding mothers. This picture will no doubt sicken breast-feeding mothers. I’m no longer feeding, but when I was, I felt anything but glamorous. I felt fulfilled and maternal and loving and uncomfortable and tender and tired and always thirsty, but never glamorous. My relationship with my body at that time was not ever focused on how I looked. It was on how it functioned. What mattered at that time was button-down shirts and nursing bras and eating enough healthy food and keeping water nearby and tying my hair out of my face.

For Gisele to call this multitasking is insulting. Most mothers I know, including myself, would kill to have this much help around us. To feel pampered and beautiful and glamorous. I understand that this is her job. But does she understand how this picture makes hard working mothers feel? Multi-tasking is filling the juice cup with water from the bathroom tap while he brushes his teeth and you shove your feet into your shoes as you hold the phone with your shoulder and ask daddy when he’ll be home tonight. And you certainly don’t have a manicure, flawless face and bouncy blow-dry while doing it.

So screw you Gisele, in all your unattainable gorgeousness.

 

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