Category Archives: KD

Mummy martyrdom and the wonderful day

It was the apologetic post about being a “Smug and Judgemental Mother of Girls” that made me fall in love a little bit.

I’ve been reading the Facebook updates from Peter and Jane for a few weeks now and I’m convinced the author and I would be best friends. From her “Fuck It All Friday” to her mentions of the “bastarding summer holidays”, she pretty much nails it every day as far as mother martyrdom goes.

And yet.

After I’ve snorted and chortled and liked and commented, I can’t help but hope her children don’t read what she writes. My mum always said the first day of the summer holidays were her favourite and she was really sad when we all went back in August. She has come out with things like “I never wanted you girls to go to the kids clubs on holidays – I wanted to spend the time with you” and she will sob every time my sister goes home to London. I quite like it.

family pic

My family ❤

So either she’s an excellent liar or my sisters and I were angel children or she really did – and does – enjoy hanging out with us. I also suspect, not that I’d ever tell her, that life was a little bit simpler 30 years ago. No mobile phones, more community spirit, less financial pressure and so on.

I have three separate friends who’ve used the line “to save our marriage” over the last few months. These are solid couples – they’re just parents of small children. The lack of sleep, the endless noise, the relentless pace, the MESS will wear down even the most devoted childhood sweethearts. We LOVE to read bloggers who voice our innermost rantings because it reassures us it’s normal to find it all so difficult.

But I think we need to keep it in perspective.

Today, for example, was a wonderful day. It really was.

mummykimmy rucksack

Rod took the Wee Man off on An Adventure. They packed a rucksack full of gluten-free sandwiches and marched off into the Pentlands. KD and I tidied the house then met a friend for a very civilised Morningside brunch. He slept for an hour afterwards, allowing me to weed the driveway jungle, and when the adventurers returned, exhausted, we had a lovely quiet half hour playing with Play Doh.

It wasn’t even three o’clock so we casually got into the car and headed west, kind of maybe looking for an ice cream shop, but actually finding a National Trust garden which we had to ourselves. I took my shoes off, walked in the spongy grass and thought “Gosh this is nice. We’re all quite chilled out.” That is not a feeling I am overly familiar with.

mummykimmy garden

Screen Shot 2016-07-31 at 21.00.36

We had dinner all together – an awesome recipe I’ll share at the end of the post because it’s such a sneaky way to get veg into your children – and the bath and bedtime routine was a bearable decibel level. So here I am and Rod’s gone off for a swim and actually, life’s not too bad.

Screen Shot 2016-07-31 at 21.00.55

 

Recipe for hidden veg pasta:

Fry a diced onion in olive oil. Add a squidge of garlic paste.Throw in a small diced courgette, four or five broccoli heads that have already been steamed, half a red chilli (deseeded and finely chopped), a few chopped up sticks of celery and half a chopped red pepper. Once they’re soft, squidge in some tomato paste and then a tin of chopped tomatoes. Mix well then put the lid on and leave it over a low heat for a few minutes. Meanwhile, boil your chosen pasta (gluten-free in our house). When the veg mix is ready transfer it into a plastic bowl and blitz it with a hand-held blender or, if you’re fancy, put it in the food processor. Mix it into your drained pasta that you’ve put back into the pot then throw in a handful of spinach. It takes about two minutes to cook. Transfer to whichever plastic plate the child insists upon then drop some tomberries (ickle tiny tomatoes I found in Sainsbury’s) and shredded ham hock (again, packet from Sainsbo’s) on top to make it look cool. Voila.

 

 

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Unrolled rolls, motorway escapes and the joys of motherhood

I am at the stage in my life where I can’t leave keys in the door; tea on low tables or biros anywhere.

My fruit bowl always looks like this:

mummykimmy fruitbowl

and my loo roll always looks like this:

mummykimmy loo roll

I have to leave the toilet seat up for the misfiring four-year-old, but down for the fishing one-year-old. I want one to sleep during the day and the other to stay wide awake till bedtime. I’m delighted when one uses his knife and fork properly but watch in dismay as the other tries to use cutlery.  It’s a relentless, trouble-shooting, fire-fighting business raising two small boys and the noise levels would never pass European laws.

At the weekend, the Wee Man, having surreptitiously listened to a conversation I had with a friend about his 20 month old calling the police to the actual door, dialled 999. I was oblivious, being busy with the dinner, and grumpily answered a ringing phone only to hear an efficient voice say: “This is the police control room, we’ve had an emergency call from this number, is everything alright?”. I was mortified. I quickly reassured her and confirmed our address – then grudgingly admired my son’s awareness. At least he knows the number 9 and what three of them do, I reassured my husband later that night.

As entertaining as my sons’ mischief is for my friends, it is a source of constant stress to a person like me who likes things to be tidy and quiet.

“You were exactly the same until you learned to read,” my mother loves to tell me. I doubt my naughtiness was ever as ingenious, but at least I have some hope for the future. KD at least seems to be channeling his inquisitive nature into engineering tasks, like taking toys apart and opening car doors on the motorway.

Usually though, just when I’m at the point of total despair, something happens to set me back on track. A glowing nursery report or a new word, perhaps. Or a conversation like I had today. The man in question was apologising for yawning – his 10 month old had kept him up most of the night. “She’s a bit of a golden child,” he admitted, before telling me a harrowing story of a longed-for pregnancy confirmed just hours before a miscarriage and emergency operation. They had the fallout of post-natal depression to deal with regardless, following the news they may never have children. And yet here they were, the adoring mum and dad of a teething daughter. This was in the back of my mind as I watched an episode of Call the Midwife, and empathised with a character struggling to come to terms with motherhood and the responsibility it brought.

I went straight onto my WhatsApp group of mummy friends, telling them all how wonderful they were.

“Hard work is what makes a mother,” one of the Call the Midwife characters said in the episode. “We like to think something magical happens at birth…but the real magic is keeping on when all you want to do is run.”

And the rewards are priceless.

mummykimmy KD

mummykimmy weeman

 

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5 things I love about my second child

The second child is always easier, they say. They have no choice.

It’s true poor KD has been left to his own devices a lot more than the wee man ever was. I only have two hands and 24 hours in each day. He’s always been a very chilled out baby, thank God, cos the wee man is the same whirlwind he’s always been.

In the last week, though, KD has suddenly steamed past several milestones, so I feel like I really have to dedicate a whole blog post to the little boy he’s becoming. So here are five things I love about KD:

1 He’s always exploring

exploring KD mummykimmy

Ever since the day he starting rolling – which was front and back within fifteen minutes and off he went – KD has been into everything. He had a wee wobbly up-on-all-fours test run for a few days, then tried putting a hand out – and suddenly he was crawling. Now there is no stopping him – or finding him, sometimes. I caught him escaping out the back door this week and grabbed him before he nosedived off the one step in our bungalow yesterday. His favourite destination is his brother’s room, where he empties all the toy boxes and chews on shoelaces.

2 He contents himself with anything.

at Tesco KD mummykimmy

He can find the fun in anything – a label on a blanket, an envelope on the carpet or a little flicky sign in Tesco. He amuses himself for ages and is the least demanding baby I’ve ever known. He’ll sit in his high chair just watching us with no toys on the table (because he’s thrown them on the floor) for ages. Admittedly his brother’s antics are very entertaining which leads me onto no.3

3 He adores his brother

brother love KD mummykimmyHis face splits into a huge grin whenever he spots the wee man – and the feeling is mutual. He’ll tolerate the kissing and cuddling and grabbing and general roughhousing – but he’s also very good at rolling on top of him and pinning him down. If KD is in the middle of his lunch and the wee man is behind him, he’ll lean backwards out of the high chair, craning to catch a glance. He reserves his belly laughs just for his brother, which the wee man adores, and which makes me all teary. His new trick is to try to copy him dancing in a shoogly wee side-to-side shimmy which totally cracks me up.

4 He has a sense of humour

comedian KD mummykimmyHe knows when he’s done something clever and takes great delight in getting my attention to appreciate his genius. Like the time he managed to roll into a rucksack and crawl towards me with it on his back. Or the day he figured out how to play peekaboo and lay with a muslin over his face giggling and waiting for me to pull it aside. I’m convinced he is an exceptionally smart child (as every mother is) which leads me onto point 5.

5 He’s a genius

standing KD mummykimmyPerhaps it’s because the wee man was quite late to hit all his milestones that it seems like KD is miles ahead. He was eight months old when I realised he could stand against something for ages. He observed my delighted face with a nonchalant “yeah – and?” look on his face. He said mum and dad in the same breath and picked a very stressful, hungover day to demonstrate his new trick – making me the happiest woman in the world. He seems to understand a heck of a lot already – responding instantly to ‘clap your hands’ or ‘dance!’ – and reacts to words like ‘daddy’ even when he’s nowhere nearby. He loves other children and will go to anyone without a fuss.

In short, he’s a brilliant wee dude who makes us all very happy. I’ll try to give him more blog space from now on!

KD and mummykimmy

 

 

 

 

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